Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Missing.
Having my Dad come visit me was so great and so terrible at the same time. I had so much fun while he was here, but I guess it also made living here that much harder... It was hard to see him go. We went to Bear Lake and got raspberry shakes. They were so good! Now I just have to look forward to fall break. Hopefully it comes fast enough... But at this point.. I don't think it can.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Wench
Really, you don't realize how we are all so connected. That's why I guess it is not surprising that we don't grasp each other's hands and help each other through. We look without seeing, and feel without feeling. The only things that are real are what happens to us. Seeing other people suffer, seeing other people happy, seeing a tragedy turn into nothing else but a tragedy... that doesn't affect us. It doesn't affect me.
It doesn't affect me until I look with intent of understanding, and I feel with my heart. We all have to see to believe now, because here we all with the world to see at our fingertips. But how real is that world?
Maybe if we could actually see each other things would be different. And if every story affected us like it happened to us. As I walk by that graveyard everyday I realize... A million stories here, none of which I will know, or care to know. But someday that's what some soul will think of me. And we never know how close that day will be.
Security is something earned, or else something dreamed. Only a bubble to be popped. God watched over me, just as he always has.
So ... isn't this something I can see to believe in?
And maybe, this second, there is a person that thought just the same thing as I did....
It doesn't affect me until I look with intent of understanding, and I feel with my heart. We all have to see to believe now, because here we all with the world to see at our fingertips. But how real is that world?
Maybe if we could actually see each other things would be different. And if every story affected us like it happened to us. As I walk by that graveyard everyday I realize... A million stories here, none of which I will know, or care to know. But someday that's what some soul will think of me. And we never know how close that day will be.
Security is something earned, or else something dreamed. Only a bubble to be popped. God watched over me, just as he always has.
So ... isn't this something I can see to believe in?
And maybe, this second, there is a person that thought just the same thing as I did....
Monday, September 12, 2011
Unfocused Emotion
Some things of note have changed me.
I realized that there has been so many fun things, beautiful things, here in Logan. I love to write and I want to write about what has happened to me.
A couple of nights ago some guys came over with a bunch of scooters. It was so random! I loved it! We rode all around campus and talked and tried to do tricks. I laughed and smiled and it felt so good! It's so Amazing how the good can outweigh the bad if you let it.
Last night me Erika and Jessica went on a walk and went "planking" on statues and tractors and all sorts of random things! We ended up at Erika's friend Caitlin's house and Caitlin and her friend Matt drove us to the "Top of the World" Matt told us how special we are to see this spot and how few people in Logan actually know about it. I could see the whole city. The air was cool and it actually had a taste! It was so sweet and it filled my lungs and my lungs filled my soul with the happiness that was in that air. It sounds pretty cheesy but that is how it really felt. Lawrell Cook told me that I will always miss my home, but I just have to find the things that I love here in Logan and focus on those.
Also, I realized how sweet tears can be. I cried today letting out unfocused emotion that was built up inside of me. The tears actually felt good on my face.
I love how here there is so much time! I can do anything my heart desires here.
And really, that's what life is about. Taking in the sweet things in every place you live. Missing you family, and praying for them every night. Meeting new people that are different. Going new places.. going dancing! And learning to be brave because this is how my life is and will be everyday. Making the decisions that will affect me forever and for eternity. And this is why, my life, here in Logan, is truly a happy one.
I realized that there has been so many fun things, beautiful things, here in Logan. I love to write and I want to write about what has happened to me.
A couple of nights ago some guys came over with a bunch of scooters. It was so random! I loved it! We rode all around campus and talked and tried to do tricks. I laughed and smiled and it felt so good! It's so Amazing how the good can outweigh the bad if you let it.
Last night me Erika and Jessica went on a walk and went "planking" on statues and tractors and all sorts of random things! We ended up at Erika's friend Caitlin's house and Caitlin and her friend Matt drove us to the "Top of the World" Matt told us how special we are to see this spot and how few people in Logan actually know about it. I could see the whole city. The air was cool and it actually had a taste! It was so sweet and it filled my lungs and my lungs filled my soul with the happiness that was in that air. It sounds pretty cheesy but that is how it really felt. Lawrell Cook told me that I will always miss my home, but I just have to find the things that I love here in Logan and focus on those.
Also, I realized how sweet tears can be. I cried today letting out unfocused emotion that was built up inside of me. The tears actually felt good on my face.
I love how here there is so much time! I can do anything my heart desires here.
And really, that's what life is about. Taking in the sweet things in every place you live. Missing you family, and praying for them every night. Meeting new people that are different. Going new places.. going dancing! And learning to be brave because this is how my life is and will be everyday. Making the decisions that will affect me forever and for eternity. And this is why, my life, here in Logan, is truly a happy one.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
sincere hatred of numbers that don't exist
what did you expect? i think it is funny how here in this library everyone sits facing the same way so you don't have to make eye contact to anyone. I just made eye contact with this random guy and it was awkward so I guess I understand. I just had to smile to myself because I was thinking about it.
I realized just like a second ago that the fact that I never have nothing to write about is because I haven't had anything really emotionally or creatively stirring happen to me lately. Emotionally I just feel rather numb, I can't believe I am saying this but I really hope to get back to the emotional me, where I actually feel! And I also can't wait until my violin gets up here, I will start playing music again and I might read a good creative books such as my favorite, The Secret Garden, or else try something new like Ballet Shoes.
i think that I am less emotionally stimulated here at college is because I always feel tired. I think the adventure of moving up here could be way more exciting if I wasn't so tired all of the time. Oh, and taking out the classes and the homework would be nice too.
On the topic of classes I really enjoy all of my classes except 2. Which by the way is a good chunk of all of my classes. The worst is Math 1050, I honestly don't know if I will even be able to pass that class. I don't know what is is but I really just don't get it at all. Speaking of I have a test for that class that starts in an hour. Sigh....I have nothing to do... right now. Because of this quiz I might try and study on Wiley.
Well anyway,, you can thank me later for that rambling session
Sincerely Sierra
I realized just like a second ago that the fact that I never have nothing to write about is because I haven't had anything really emotionally or creatively stirring happen to me lately. Emotionally I just feel rather numb, I can't believe I am saying this but I really hope to get back to the emotional me, where I actually feel! And I also can't wait until my violin gets up here, I will start playing music again and I might read a good creative books such as my favorite, The Secret Garden, or else try something new like Ballet Shoes.
i think that I am less emotionally stimulated here at college is because I always feel tired. I think the adventure of moving up here could be way more exciting if I wasn't so tired all of the time. Oh, and taking out the classes and the homework would be nice too.
On the topic of classes I really enjoy all of my classes except 2. Which by the way is a good chunk of all of my classes. The worst is Math 1050, I honestly don't know if I will even be able to pass that class. I don't know what is is but I really just don't get it at all. Speaking of I have a test for that class that starts in an hour. Sigh....I have nothing to do... right now. Because of this quiz I might try and study on Wiley.
Well anyway,, you can thank me later for that rambling session
Sincerely Sierra
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