Everlasting

Last night was so terrible. I mean, it was alright when we watched Tuck Everlasting. I like that movie. A lot.
I wasn't in control of my thoughts, I couldn't stop crying.
"Why?" I would ask.
"Why?" I would wonder.

and i wondered why winifred wouldn't stay with jesse, when she could be with him forever.

I guess life must really be worth living.

And dying, it must be really worth living, to risk dying.

This is Halloween

This IS Halloween. What a riot. Not much to say, didn't go to the Howl, tickets were sold out so instead me and Kaitlin drove around Logan and took pics. Pulled an all nighter-- guy that slept on the couch didn't appreciate it much. Didn't matter, hopefully won't ever see him again ha! Mission-freshly-awkward!
(Besides, I'm not a huge fan of guys sleeping over in my apt., but ,,, i guess that since I was awake the whole time it didn't really matter).
Major me up UTAH STATE, taking on another week in my blind hike towards my future. Lucky me.

Different Lots

Blogging at 3:21 am. Meh. Can't think .... can't do....
IT was a good week though.
And right now, sitting in the parking lot of the best western,

remembering that time we played in the rain in a different parking lot. :'(

In Way of Remembrance

I had such a great week in Southern Utah last week! I loved meeting Caitlin's bf Charlie, going to the football game with Shaynae, and getting hot chocolate with caitlin charlie and shaynae in the pimping truck! I loved seeing you Christine and Andrea and Myles as well. I wish we could have spent more time together, and Christine I didn't mind how you were vomiting instead of talking with us.
I loved seeing Owen, even when he peeed on my guitar case. Ok. And you Shelby, I loved how me and you and mom laughed so hard on the way home from the mall about Adam from Eddie Bauer and mom, how you love guy shopping! Dad, I like how you took me to get your popsicles, I wish we could have hung out more. I loved picking up shelby from that party with you and Owen. Footloose was great Shelb, we should have a flashback and sit together and watch the old one. Shaynae, I like how we can talk about anything. Even the size of the BOYS. :D I love you Hurricane, the warmth of the sun, the mountains I didn't notice before. I loved how reality set in when the side walk got taking out. How the grass just stopped. How without a road there is only a cliff. I love you Mom. I can only barely survive without you. I also realize how I love that when I run I can almost taste the hay in the warm air. Hurricane is alive because of you. Becuase of Love (dillon and laura) .. Becuase of Peace, and becuase of Friends. We come together and sew our lives amongst the red cliffs and the blue sky. Becuase southern utah is who we are, who we are becoming, and who we will become.

Other People

Are kings as well, they control the printers, the black dots, the bars. I become such a peasant, bowing and pleading for more. I understand the king more than I understand myself, for a few moments, because their thoughts are mine, their movements are mine.
Their music is mine ... for a few moments in time.
I understand that King.

Tell the WORLD

that music is power, and just a few minutes ago, I was KING.

I'm Coming Home; I'm Going Home

Now today is the day. I'm going back to Hurricane today.

I'm afraid I won't be able to come back.

for the beauty of the brain

Decisions. What we decide now can change the way we view our forever. Simple decisions, big decisions, and to think I am the one that decided what clothes that I am wearing today, who I would smile at, what type of juice I would drink for lunch. I can't believe that the same decision making skills that decided whether I like chocolate or strawberry milk is also going to decide what I am going to major in, who I will marry, and name my children. The brain is a beautiful thing. Ain't it.

People that are Dead

I miss my AP Literature class. I miss reading worthwhile reading and thinking and feeling and knowing a part of the author that I can't know about the people here, alive, with me. I need to wake up and start feeling again, I need to read poetry and the books that I used to read, a window into dreams, to reality, to hope, to love. I need ideas and and regeneration in my life. I need to use and re-use and do. I need to act now on the things I learn. I need to know people, and I can't know the people here I can know the people that are dead, the people from other countries, other worlds.

It's time to discover.

Getting so obsessed with Heroes, and questions of God, and wondering why money matters so much. Yes, the answers are written down Philosophically at our finger tips, and now what do we do? We dance at parties, we drink, we kill ourselves in car accidents. The mental capabilities are being wasted. The singers/songwriters of our day are singing Super Bass.

I could always try and save the world.

weekend from the gods

mmmhmmm..... great weekend with my grandparents. nice to get out of here... be home in five days.

seven hundred miles

I have a good life. But I am surprisingly really acquainted with loneliness. In elementary school loneliness was my middle name for three years. And here, in Logan. There are days, most of the days, i don't feel lonely. But the rare days that come, i miss my friends. I guess you do "belong" places, and I also guess I didn't realize that when I actually did belong somewhere I didn't really appreciate it. I'm honestly not trying to be a poo. Haha.  It's just something that I have come to realize recently.
It could be a optimistic thing. It really could! I know that I always have a friend in Christ.. .... I shouldn't take that for granted either.
I also used to think that I would never return to Hurricane Utah. So many things change don't they. Different perspectives up here in Northern Utah. 700 miles away from home.
Maybe it take 700 miles to realize what is the most important to you.
A place to not be lonely.
Security.
Love.
Peace.
Home.
sincerely sierra

questions.

New Ideas...Cloudy Brain....Looking for Answers.

There are questions here that need to be answered.