heat

today I burned a lifetime of memories..

I looked up into the tress and saw the memories raining down on to my face

Some still red, still to bring tears to my eyes.

But then a thick gust came

And the memories blew off toward a pink sunset

And the smell stung my nose, and the smoke burnt my eyes

And my lips are chapped, tingling

the colors of life are turned to black and white

a flame diminishes

but with the diminish of this flame


Another has just began



And feeds me burning hope





Until my fire, too , is gone with the wind.

see the world walking upside down

What shall I do today?
Standing on top of Mt. Kilimanjaro
Watching the sunrise the wind in my hair
I'm gonna go wherever I wanna go
There's magic everywhere
I've danced with the lions who roam Serengeti
I've met a tiger and played in his lair
When I get home I'm right where I wanna be
There's magic everywhere
Watching the clouds roll by
Sailing the ocean, learning to fly
In the moonlit sky
I've been friends with a cobra in the burning Sahara.
Danced with a Swami while everyone stared
I live where I live and I do what I wanna do
There's magic everywhere
Dive with the Dolphins and soar with the albatross
A world full of treasures to know if you dare
I am the sea and nobody owns me
There's magic everywhere
Watching the clouds roll by
Sailing the ocean, learning to fly
In the moonlit sky

Lol I am not Pippi Longstocking but this song sorta inspires me becusase we can choose whatever we want to do every day.
Kindof

The Rocking Horse Winner

Today has been a good day. I kept my heart around my neck ( not like I actually talk to boys anyway). This is a positive thing at high school this week though. Its battle of the sexes week.. which means alot of car racing and tampon spreading are coming my way. oh the joys of bots.

On a more important note today I learned about D. H. Lawrence. He wrote the little prose called The Rocking Horse Winner. Us humans are after life , liberty, and the pursuit of happyness. Well since we americans (yes the ones who have special holidays to make sure we are thankful and love eachother) already life and liberty : life with the advances in medicine, and liberty with to the handsome federalist that created the constitution, that means that there is only one thing left, the pursuit of happyness. ( yes... it was run-on). Is happiness attainable??
Not until after we are dead

This is becuase we americans find joy that only lasts temporarily. Once we have something we only want something more. We will never be completely happy, will we. So yes you Mother from  The Rocking Horse Winner... Luck is not happiness.. becuase nothing is. Not even money.

So that is me on a soapbox.        Weak.

Alright pizza is ready :)


Sincerely Sierra

princess no more

It was hard last night.

• I gave up my 1st Attendant Crown
• A year long part of my life ended

It was great last night.

• I gave up my 1st Attendant Crown
• A year long part of my life ended

Whatever feelings I am having right now .. they are definitely split... but no matter how many feelings I have about the pageant last night .... nothing will change the fact that I am princess no more.

preference

It's a dance, yes a girls choice dance. I have been debating as of lately whether I wanted to go. DO I? Something very spirit dampening is dampening my spirits about high school dances. Do I really look forward going into a sweaty room with a guy I hardly even know and pretend I know how to dance while I am really looking at my dream date and dream dress the whole time?

Well maybe I do.

So this is the question... Who is my "Preference"?  You would think I would choose someone who I would want to ask me to prom.    Well I won't. Becuase I am way to shy and and way to.... not outgoing... to do something like that... like ask a guy to dance that I actually WANT to go with.

Even thinking about that gives me the HEEBIE JEEBIES


So as it has been so windy,,, and every one in the whole universe is suffering a cold except for me I realize that it is only time before I too am suffering from a cold.

BTW I dyed my hair blond.

So every now and then I change the music I listen to back to something I overlistened to six months ago. So now I find myself back to being into the hush sound.

Someday I better find a guy just like Peeta Mellark. I love you Peeta.   I don't care if I sound like a book freak when I say that... becuase there is no guy that even has a clue... it seems like.

Jaymee: Does that mean Brittany Spears can be President

Mr. History Teacher: : Well, yes Jaymee
******************silence from class

Marissa: That would be fun!

Random quote from my day. Well considering I have 4 tests tomorrow I gotta go back to reading Jane Eyre (Which by the way I have a dream of making it into a book for teens. Like the American Teen Version)

-sincerely sierra

To Be Or Not To Be-- ... Is that a question?

So as of lately I had to memorize the TO BE OR NOT TO BE speach from Shakespeares "Hamlet". It went well.. except when I was reciting it to my teacher my brain forgot every word that started wtih the letter "C"  


Maybe I will just have to live with a B.

In other news we are babysitting a pug this week named Luna that lives in our neighborhood. She is naughty and she is mean to my pug Owen. That alright though becuase she is so adorable.    I have to go to my AP Literature class and only have a  couple more minutes to write.   Lately there is nothing to write about.

Exept this:

TODAY IS THE 5th WEEK SINCE I HAVE GOTTEN SURGERY>>>  AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS>>> NOTHING>

Yay.

Sincerely Sierra

where you stand

So I have now given up on wearing my sling.. Even though I suppossedly am suppossed to wear it for  a couple more days. Zach and Nick say I can drive now and I am starting therapy.
Things are kinda looking up. Kinda.
I didn't do any homework all weekend.    I didn't really do anything actually.  I decided a couple of things though. I AM FINISHING MY PORTFOLIO I"M GONNA FLY THIS WEEK!!! Also on the Things to Do List
1. Finish Portfolio
2. Practice Piano for Church and for Miss Hurricane
3. Finish Alumni Scholarship
4. Homework?

I now know I am to busy for my own good.  I am reading Jane Eyre and I LOVE IT!!! Out of all the classical reads I have read this is by far the BEST. I thought about book blogging it but I am too lazy.Also, I am going to dye my hair blond. or bleach it.. or whatever you have to do to get auburn hair blonde. I hope it's a good idea... I really do.

Well this is about the lamest post ever.

happy aniversary to me and you there on the right

It has been 4 weeks since I got my surgery, and that means something. No it doesnt. It doesn't mean anything I like anyway. Here are the things that it means:
1. You still have to wear a sling for one more week
2. It has only been 4 weeks since surgery.. its gonna have to feel like YEARS till school is out.

I have never been an optimist.

welcome to drugs anomynous! our first topic: fractions.

Well on tuesday I started my Math 1010 class. Just the story on how I ended up in Math 1010 would be a good post... but.... in short   I have to take it... and the ACT ruins my life. On walking into my first college class that was actually at a college I had expectations that weren't quite fufilled. In fact... no expectation was filled. My class was a class full of middle aged, drug adicts,  the slums of my town.  And as nine of the 45 of us was called randomly to introduce us to the class I found I was in the nine. As I awaited my turn at the end of the line I silently listened to the stories of the people at my side.

"I have stopped smoking for 18 days and I have been clean from meth for 3months. I just want my 8 children back." lady with purple hair exclaims.
(class claps)

"I don't really get anything... I just want to change my life around ... and ...um... stop partying. I haven't had a drink for 12 days." lady who is hungover.
(class claps)

"Uh, I want to become a police officer... kinda.  So yeah. Math."   stupid big guy with tattoos.
(class sits in silence)

"I am going to college again becuase I blew out my knee in the marines and I am in a wheelchair(obviously since we are all looking at you...and you are indeed in a wheelchair) I just want to play baseball with my sons again."  says guy with a baseball cap and a wheelchair.
(class sits in agitation as they try and figure out why being in a wheelchair has anything to do with math and not physical therapy.)

"I sometimes speak in an irish accent." the girl with the haircut.
(........)
       This would be where I am suppossed to speak.... I am next to the girl with the hair cut.. But I find myself having a hard time coming up with.. well something to say that is... well nevermind
"Hi. My name is Sierra. I... well I am in high school .. a senior.   Um.. i took this class becuase I didn't understand AP Calculus... which is alright with me.. becuase that's hard. I plan on going to college.. and.. thats fun."  says normal preppy girl that has never tried dope.
(class stares with bored faces)

I exhaled. Becuase that humiliation was over. But I was wrong.
"What happened to your arm?" says math teacher with cerebral palsy.
"I .. well I got shoulder surgery."
And to my suprise the girl with the hair cut says in an irish accent  "Oh! Well then you can give me your violin!!"
    I am not gonna lie.. i must have looked super confused. Here are the thoughts that ran through my mind at this time.
1. Who the Hell(Sorry) are you?!
2. How the Hell(Sorry) did you know that I play the violin?
3. There's no way in Hell(Sorry) I am giving you my violin!!

After these thoughts flew acrossed my mind a memory was triggered.. This girl had been in my orchestra class two years ago.. She wasn't so.. irish...then though. And she had hair.      So here is what spilled out of my mouth in a sort of embarassed quiet remark.
" I don't want to give you my violin."

(The whole class is stunned in an awkward silence.)    So I smile.

(class claps)


sincerely sierra

boots and a pair of oxfords

So, my day today.... it went a little bit like this.
MORNING: Woke up at 7...then wined until 7:10 then my mommy dressed me (thanks to my shoulder surgery) and did my hair. My sister left for school and I just sorta relaxed until 9 30 and looked at a magazine. My plan was to do homework..NOT! So after looking in this magazine I decided that I might spend my christmas money on boots and a pair of oxfords.(which are shoes).

SCHOOL: At school I read some Jane Eyre in the library before I headed off to class. I did nothing for an hour in orchestra becuase I cant play the violin (thanks to my shoulder surgery). At lunch I ate a corndog at Jenna's and sat in the back of a border-hopping vehicle. In government I learned about art and in physics I put a piece of plastic in a water bottle. My day was SO fascinating.

EARLY AFTERNOON: After school I squished in with all the people from my class and looked at the ceiling and said CHEESE! ... Yep.  Then I walked home.. the weather is beautiful today by the way...and tried to fix my computer for forty minutes. Then I ate some oreos and cheese.. And now I am here writing on my blog.

FOR TONIGHT?: If I can finish enough homework and my ambassadors portfolio I might head up to a basketball game in the town next to mine. Woo freaking Hoo.

So there is the basically boring life of a teenager who can't drive (thanks to shoulder surgery). And I don't know why I typed all this but whatever. it does have great insight.

Choosing THE Crown

Today it was my job to choose the perfect crown for the next girl that will take my place in the royalty. I have finally decided on one which I think is pretty and I hope the next girl thinks it is pretty as well.   It's really hard and it took me a whole hour. But that's alright.   Whatever.  I only have like 90 million other things to do.

Also in news,, my college math class starts today which SUCKS! so now with all of the things that I have to do I have to add that to my list and not get home until 6 every tuesday and thursday which again.. sucks.  

So I was looking into that little girls eyes and I was wondering why God put her in the situation he did.   When she was born I remember looking into those deep brown eyes and seeing how they looked so black. When she looked into my eyes I know that she knew me. I love her.   Why does she have it so hard?

mykylah

 

Long Live

YES!!! It is finally time! I am now in the last semester of all of my grade school! Sadly, thought, I do not see the light at the end of this tunnel. I might not either.. until the diploma is in my hands.

I made my new years res. Haha. It will be really interesting to see if I can do it. I made alot of them.. which is probably not the best idea but we will see what happens.. right?

Well the title of this post is Long Live which is the title of my favorite song right now. It's by T Swift.. .. of course. Down here in my small town we love Taylor. A little to much maybe. I also finished the Hunger Game trilogy finally.  I would have finished it sooner if I could of . But for some reason I decided to take AP Literature and I don't have time to read anything else buy Shakespeare and Thomas Hardy. Which sucks. And I used to like poetry and reading... until this class. Now..I hate it. Which is sad. Hopefully after I finish this class my love for literature will be rekindled.

Well I better head to school... becuase that's the logical thing to do.

{sincerely sierra}

The After Holiday

Every year Americans of all types all celebrate a holiday subconciously that starts around December 26th and can last up until January 5th. This holiday in my mind should be called The After Holiday.  These couple of days signify alot. It's after all of the holidays  and everyone feels like 25 pounds have been lifted from their shoulders. Stress Less. Also these days signify the end of a year, after everything we've done during a year it always comes to an end... just so we can start a new one. I like The After Holiday for the most part but mine seems to be seriously lagging this year... but I am eating alot of candy which is a good sign. I'd like to wish to a Happy 2011... THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT!!!   ( I graduate this year.)

So I have spent my After Holiday healing from my surgery. Which isn't nearly as bad as I imagined. Surgery wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined. I got my stitches out today (Which doesn't hurt). And suprisingly when I got my IV... That didn't hurt either. Actually... surgery didn't really ever hurt very much like I imagined. :)

I have also spent the After Holiday with my grandma who also had to get surgery in her finger. It was hard for her but she is doing really good ! Thankyou.
I plan to celebrate new years tomorrow some how special... I don't know what yet. I should get on that.
Actually, there was alot of things I wanted to get done over the break that didn't get done. Funny how things work.

My cousin Kylah got a jump rope for christmas. She is two  and terrible. But she was cute with her jump rope. We would swing the rope around and she would just jump about 5 feet away from the rope yelling "I'm JUMPROPING IM JUMPROPING!!!!!"  I love her.

Well with graduation coming into eyesight things are looking up for me. Even if I have to be in a giant ugly sling for most of my senior year.

{sincerely sierra}

Tis the Season.....Right.

HIGH SCHOOL STINKS!!!!!
Hi Everyone!! I want all of you to become high school seniors!! You don't ever have homework and you get to party with your friends constantly. You will only have three classes and the rest of the school day you get to just sleep.

If you ever hear being a high school senior being commercialized this way just know that this is false advertising at its worst. Not only do I always have 4 hours of homework every night, I never get to see my friends because they are in similar situations: and I never ever never ever want to party with my fellow classmates. My relationship with my peers should be strong by now. No. It''s not. In fact,,,, everyday I see them I hate them more. I am so excited for college.

So as I have spent this whole Christmas season studying for finals and doing anything festive at all I decided to go see the live nativity . This should be fun but it would be a lot more fun if I had a good friend to go with.

Tis the Season to get surgery.. fa la la la la   la la la suck.  I have a surgery next week and the idea of it has ruined my whole Christmas season... I try to stay in a good mood about getting shoulder surgery.
POSITIVES OF SHOULDER SURGERY

• My shoulder will be stabilized and no longer dislocate every month...
• My life will be better
• Once I get the surgery I will never have to get that surgery again

NEGATIVES OF SHOULDER SURGERY

• I have to get surgery
• I am freaking afraid of needles
• I am freaking afraid of getting surgery

(I just added the freakings in there because I thought it would help emphasize how freaking scared I am)

So now it is obvious that I am not really in a good mood about this stupid surgery at all. In fact I hate the idea. But yesterday for my pre-surgery thing this guy told me I looked Miley Cyrus and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to say thank you or something.    AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE>>>>> I HAVE HAD SUBWAY TWICE IN THE LAST 24 HOURS AND I AM DISGUSTED BY MY EATING HABITS THIS WEEK>>>>>>>>>>>>>  BYE!!!!!!

Physics and Dancing

I am in my Physics class at the moment and it isn't that great. I am doing research on how to make the strongest straw stucture, and since I don't really care about that it turns out that this is just a waste of my time. I went and watch my friends friend do a little ballet dance and decided that I wanted to learn ballet. I am not good at dancing so this could be alot of fun!!! ... Anyway gotta head back into the lesson... BYE!!!!

The First Day

Today is December and it's the first day of an interesting scary upcoming month. I have Christmas which is great! I also have shoulder surgery which is not so great. I am really scared actually.  Well as this month is going to be a month of the unknown future of course it has to start out on a note like today! I go into my AP LIT class all happy and fine and nicely take notes like usual. I am bored out of my mind when my phone starts ringing obnoxiously loud. I guess when I turned the volume off my phone was upside down. Ugh. got my phone taken away. yep great. yep that happened to me. Well this is my December 1st so far. It great.

One Day the Whole World Looks Like an Open Page

This is me and my best friend Calee on Halloween.. I like our costumes! We were about to go on stage for our Halloween orchestra concert. which we hate. I want Calee to come to college with me, but she doesnt want to go where I want to go.
Speaking of college....Ah! Priority Deadline this Wednesday!! Ahhhh! I already got accepted to where I want to go.... but all the scholarships... ahhh ahhha ahhha hahahahaha!  I am just going crazy now! But today I realized that the world right now is just an open page... waiting for me to write my part. I can do whatever I want to do! DECIDING FOR MYSELF! YES! But it is so sososososo scary. So scary.

We put up our christmas tree yesterday. it looks so beautiful!!!!! I love the Christmas season. LOVE IT.
Here is a little writing about christmas season.

Believe Love
You look at me from across the room
The lights from the tree sparkle in your eyes
I smile
You smile.
I love you, but I don't think you know.
You love me, but you don't think I know.
I shift awkwardly and look away.,
And when I look up again you have to ornaments
They say Believe and the other Love
I smile
You smile

lovers in japan

I saw one of my old friends the other day. I looked at my shoes, hoping he wouldn't see me. You see we once loved eachother..   which means I should look at my shoes if we run into eachother.

So the other day me and my friend Andrea watched this movie called New York Minute. It is so funny. It might have been becuase we were in a crazy mood.. which I'm actually pretty sure that was the reason. Well anyway my friend Jenna just called me up and told me she found it on Net Flix and wanted me to watch it with her. She must of heard the story. Today I might need to ditch ALL the homework I have.. and go watch this with her.   HAHA. lol.  Yes.

Anyway my other friend Calee texted me about a song called Lovers in Japan by Coldplay. I really like it... all seven minutes of it. I like anything about Japan becuase I love Japan. Coldplay is brilliant.

Blogging?

I like this so far.
It has been alot fun. 1 becuase I love gilmore girls and now there is this nifty gilmore girl picture fun thing going on at the top of my page. (I just realized that in my gilmore girl picture fun thing that there are two random girls just smiling in there. I am embarrassed for them becuase everyone knows that they are not actually the real gilmore girls.)  2 becuase I love charlie mcdonnel and now his movies are just floating off to the side of my page.

This is great.

So now that I have seen Harry Potter twice (I am not a fanatic.. just someone who sees harry potter twice) i can officially say that I like this one.. but I sorta had higher hopes for it.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving which is just great. An excuse for Americans to eat lots of food and tell eachother how much we love eachother.. since we need to designate a day for things like eating and thanking.
I like thanksgiving really.. its just humorous to me at 10 at night I guess. And I am thankful for everything. Really.

hope for high school

A little about me..
I go to high school.
I am a girl.
I am not a cheerleader.

Now you know everything... everything that matters in high school.
High School is a place where a bunch of moody wreckless teenagers are forced to spend there time. But since this year is me and my friends are seniors we are trying to change that. We are not wreckless.

One time my friend wrote a poem
We had to for our english class about the 5 senses here is the excerpt
High School is Hell
It smells like Hell
It looks like Hell
It taste like Hell
It sounds like Hell
It feels like Hell

High School is Hell

And after she sent this text message to me I realized what great doctrine this year. High School. A place to waste your time waiting for the future. Which will hopefully be better than high school. My friend is such a poet :)