Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Thousand Year Funeral
I learned recently that it never goes away by talking to my cousin in Art. We talk about her worst day and my worst day and even two years later I see a tear fall out of her eye. I want to cry too. I want to cry because I see that this will be a thousand year funeral.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Tired of Sleeping
I think I have always been amazed by language. It has always been amazing and thrilling to find that one can take single letters and dream it into something that people can connect with and understand. I can inspire someone! I have always wanted to be the person on the other end of the book. The person who dreamed it, not discovered it. And really, it doesn't seem to far fetched really since we all dream and we all really like our dreams. It's our nightmares that we don't like to share.
Nightmares though often become your reality, and your reality often becomes your dreams. And since this is true it is hard to go to sleep at night and when things aren't right and aren't the same you always seem to stay up later than the night before which is really crazy considering how tired you are from the day but it starts making sense how much more tired you are of going to sleep.
I want to write this down because I am creating something that is uniquely me out of something that belongs to everyone. And this nightmare and dream that we all live in is really just another story. I want to write this down, though, so I can remember the dreams and the nightmares as well. I wouldn't want to forget the bits and pieces that make up who I am and if it takes late nights to create integrity then maybe I wouldn't trade this for the world.
But maybe I would because sometimes I think I would trade this world for one more day. It's hard to be patient and it's even harder to fathom eternity and maybe I am being really selfish for being tired of sleeping because everyone else is tired of being awake and some how things are off balance and just plain not fair.
Actually, nothing really is fair anymore or ever was cause even as a baby we were all a situation and the people we are today were not somewhere there because a huge part of us were created by actions and choices and the other created by dreams and nightmares and sometimes we are maybe just trying to justify that one is right over the other even though really the line is just to blurry to tell.
And really if there is sentences and words and paragraphs and books we should all be mentioned in some book some day because all of us are dreaming or having a nightmare right now and it would be such a shame to never know how to tell the difference of that blurry line and about how people fall in love and if they were dreaming this or if they were afraid because as I have grown older I have realized that some people are afraid to love and this might be a nightmare but who knows anymore? I feel sad that love could be that way but I also feel sad that people are dying every day.
People really do die everyday and even though I don't even know their names I feel like I know them because I want to know them.
And maybe they were dreaming or having a nightmare or maybe they were tired of the day or else they were maybe tired of sleeping and maybe they had a thousand books written about them and maybe one person only had one word, and what really matters is that they at least had that word, even if they were tired of sleeping.
Nightmares though often become your reality, and your reality often becomes your dreams. And since this is true it is hard to go to sleep at night and when things aren't right and aren't the same you always seem to stay up later than the night before which is really crazy considering how tired you are from the day but it starts making sense how much more tired you are of going to sleep.
I want to write this down because I am creating something that is uniquely me out of something that belongs to everyone. And this nightmare and dream that we all live in is really just another story. I want to write this down, though, so I can remember the dreams and the nightmares as well. I wouldn't want to forget the bits and pieces that make up who I am and if it takes late nights to create integrity then maybe I wouldn't trade this for the world.
But maybe I would because sometimes I think I would trade this world for one more day. It's hard to be patient and it's even harder to fathom eternity and maybe I am being really selfish for being tired of sleeping because everyone else is tired of being awake and some how things are off balance and just plain not fair.
Actually, nothing really is fair anymore or ever was cause even as a baby we were all a situation and the people we are today were not somewhere there because a huge part of us were created by actions and choices and the other created by dreams and nightmares and sometimes we are maybe just trying to justify that one is right over the other even though really the line is just to blurry to tell.
And really if there is sentences and words and paragraphs and books we should all be mentioned in some book some day because all of us are dreaming or having a nightmare right now and it would be such a shame to never know how to tell the difference of that blurry line and about how people fall in love and if they were dreaming this or if they were afraid because as I have grown older I have realized that some people are afraid to love and this might be a nightmare but who knows anymore? I feel sad that love could be that way but I also feel sad that people are dying every day.
People really do die everyday and even though I don't even know their names I feel like I know them because I want to know them.
And maybe they were dreaming or having a nightmare or maybe they were tired of the day or else they were maybe tired of sleeping and maybe they had a thousand books written about them and maybe one person only had one word, and what really matters is that they at least had that word, even if they were tired of sleeping.
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