Whisper

I feel like I am looking out a dirty window all of the time.  I can see out, but not clear enough to make out what's right in front of me. No matter how many times I clean the window it is still fogged with cheap cleaner, or the dirt and dust seem to be permanent.  I go through the motions everyday and the window looms in front of me.

I hope I am making the right decisions, because I am making the decisions blindly. Everyday seems just like the last one and I feel like I am taking no steps into the right direction. All the sudden I am Robert Frost .....two roads diverged in a yellow wood....

Waiting for that Whisper is really trying sometimes. I think the main thing for everyone to remember is to be patient. I feel that someday my life will all the sudden hit the tracks again. That I will be able to shake the dirt out of my shoes and put my hair back down. I will be following that track again. For now, I just have to find that track. It seems to have gone away, missing.

Romance 1903

So I have been really proud of myself lately.
No, It's not because I have made a ton of new friends.
No, It's not because I have been getting great grades.
No, It's not because I got accepted to Utah State,
Or the fact that I have started work back up,
or that the semester is finally almost over.

It is because I finished Romance 1903.

I am amazed at myself. I never thought I could do something like this.
It just takes a little faith trust and pixie dust (hours of practice).

Oh that's not me by the way. She's basically a professional. But the same song!

The New World Symphony

I am in a symphony. I sit in the back, right next to the timpani drums. I would rather be in the front right next to Dr. Abegg, but beggars can't be choosers.  Sometimes, I am playing notes, but I can't hear them. All I really can hear is that timpani drum. Let me talk about orchestra for a minute. It's amazing really. About seventy five strangers meet together every monday, wednesday, and friday for two complete hours. We all sit down and Dr. Abegg sits up top. Literally up top, his chair is much higher than the rest of us. Sometimes I imagine him falling off that chair. Don't get me wrong! I actually really like the guy. It's the chair that is so funny. I shouldn't really "dis" the chair becaue I think it exists because violinist like me who must sit in the back so we don't shame the "real" orchestra. Sometimes, it's the only thing I can hold on to in that class, because of that timpani drum. When I have absolutely know idea what's going on I just look up to that chair, than to my professor, and then to the stick he is waving in the air. Than I can try my hardest to ignore the timpani drum and play the notes that are written before me.

None of that is the point really, other than the first sentence. I want to explain to you why I was so happy the other day. Here I am, in symphony with seventy-four other strangers. We were all making music together which seemed really great. Then my teacher stopped us and said "Guys, this sounds like Dvorak! Only Dvorak could have created such a chord" I have know idea what chord he was specidfically talking about but it didn't matter because we were playing Dvorak, the New World Symphony. I started thinking about chords and how they exist and notes and music. I was wondering if God is as proud of me as Dvorak is of his New World Symphony. Dvorak must have been so proud to create that chord that Dr. Abegg loves. I want to by my Heavenly Father's New World Symphony. Together we can do anything, just like seventy-five college students can reenact the New World Symphony like Dvorak was sitting on that tall chair. That's what is so amazing about that. Because Dvorak is dead but he is still here in this song that we are all experiencing.

Even the timpani sound like angels.