Every Tear Is A Waterfall.

Life is ironic.  I read a quote that said that whatever it is that you can't stop thinking about, wishing about, and hoping about is what is truly in your heart. No matter how high I turn the music up, I can't stop thinking of home.

"I want to have friends that I can trust. That love me for the person i've become, not for who I was. I want to have friends that let me be all alone when being alone is all that I need. I want to fit in to the perfect space. Feel natural and safe and of all the tiled place. "

Home.

Like i've said, the hardest thing is seeing the thing you love most in your rearview mirror. That feeling you get after laying in the grass for too long.  I hate it, but love it. That's how I feel about living here. So when I'm laying there under that summer sun, how do I decide to leave the grass? Even though my skin is itching I might decide to stay, or that itch might become to painful, and I will have to leave.

I hate people that go out their way to make you feel stupid.
I love people that go out of their way to make you feel smart.

They talk so loud, I can still hear them over my music which is as loud as it can go. And it hurts my ears. And no one cares. Except my home.
25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 days 25 more days.

I cried today. I cried a lot. Out of anger, hurt, frustration, happiness, confusion, ...leaving.

If I could write how I felt into music, it would be a lot easier. But for now..... This will have to do.

Happy Easter